I didn't mean to fall asleep

You were only two days old

I was alone with you 

Exhausted from giving you life

no sleep in sight

I love you 

you won't stop crying and sleep

You only sleep when you eat

I am trying to stay awake 

I didn't mean to fall asleep 

I'm sorry, so sorry 

I fell asleep 

you were in my arms 

so peaceful, eating 

you fell asleep so beautifully on my chest 

I watched as you took breath after breath

I was so tired

I kept trying to push through the exhaustion 

it was two in the morning

You are okay now
but
I fell asleep
I woke up to screams
you were on the floor
I'm sorry I fell asleep
you are growing wonderfully
but I constantly think of that day
you had two fractures in your skull
and a brain bleed
you are so smart at almost 6 months old
I couldn't be happier
but
it still weighs heavy on my mind
I don't know what the future holds for you
what if something is wrong?
I can't help but to overthink
I love you more than life itself
and the air I breathe
but
I feel like a bad mommy
I know I'm not
but my brain tells me otherwise
I love you A
but I'm sorry I fell asleep